While “go for it” may sound like a life lesson to give to a 20-something, it also targets us older folks in our 70’s and 80’s — people who are beginning to sense diminution in energy, may now see mostly grey hair in the mirror, have lost some friends, and maybe begun to develop fears about the future. This negative perspective is understandable but can also be psychologically harmful!
Recently I was talking to a friend about how much daily exercise I try to get for maximal benefit, proudly mentioning that I try to walk about three miles a day. He commented me and then said that he walks 5 miles a day. When I asked him how old he is, he answered “83.” At 81, I shrank into my boots feeling deficient!
Attitude doesn’t just apply to physical well-being; it also applies to emotional and mental well-being. Sitting around dwelling on one’s feelings alone is likely to worsen one’s sense of isolation. If you feel isolated long enough, you may become depressed, and if you become depressed, you may lose your drive, energy, and enthusiasm, and a vicious negative cycle can get started.
To be sure, necessary adjustments of one sort or another are appropriate as we age but isolating oneself excessively is emotionally harmful. I know two people who are each 100 years old, which is quite a remarkable feat given only 1% of people will live a full century. Super-agers indeed. Even though one of them needs a driver and a helper and requires a walker to go out, both of them remain vitally active and engaged. One ventures out to museums regularly and the other still drives himself. Thus, age alone may not tell us as much about what another individual is able to achieve as can their unknowable physiological and genetic makeup.
I think a good strategy is to not think too much about age. Personally, I have stopped asking people how old they are. What’s the point? It doesn’t tell me anything about them beyond a number.
We know where we are each headed eventually: “No one gets out alive”, as the saying goes. But in the meantime, connecting with people, challenging our brains, and simply doing the best that we can physically is, in my mind, the best way to live. My mantra for whatever you want to do, learn and experience: Go for it!
Dr. Hugh Winig is a retired psychiatrist, a longtime OLLI @Berkeley member and volunteer, and a regular contributor to the OLLI Blog.