The American Loneliness Syndrome and What to Do About It

This winter, I've been attending some OLLI classes in person as well as online. Much as I appreciate the convenience of learning online — as well as the learning itself! — I have been reminded of how rich the experience is to be in an actual classroom, sitting alongside other members, learning and listening together. While the content of the lecture is the same, the nature of the experience is different. When you’re there in person, you can socially interact with one another at the break and after class and personally ask a question of the lecturer. There’s buzz and excitement in being there. I have found it energizing, sort of like rediscovering a forgotten muscle.

It’s made me think harder about social isolation and loneliness, which has been very much in the news and on my mind, as a retired psychiatrist, as an older adult, and as a parent and grandparent.

Increased social isolation and loneliness are now considered a crisis by the Public Health Department. Despite the lessening concerns about the physical impact of the Covid pandemic, many peoples’ lives have become unalterably changed psychologically by other factors, including by the nearly universal use of social media platforms. 

People grew accustomed to the comforts of their own homes during the pandemic as they learned to study or work from home rather than experiencing daily in-person interactions with peers and others at school, work, or social events. And increased “connectivity” through social media platforms became dominant, overshadowing the norm of in-person socializing.

Despite the expectation that one day everyone would eventually return to in person school or work, this “loneliness syndrome” emerged within our populace and has unexpectedly persisted, partly because we may never fully go back to the in-person nature of learning. School age people ages 15-24 have been especially impacted, with 24% of people 15 and older self-reporting feeling very lonely. A slightly older group of young adults (age 19-29) have the very highest rates of loneliness, often stemming from the dramatic increase of social media platforms which are convenient to utilize but cannot substitute for significant in person intimacy. 

This Loneliness Syndrome can persist and change the nature of one’s life for many years. Feelings can include fear, guilt, or shame and can negatively impact a person’s emotional development. This emotional condition can leave a negative psychological impact for an undetermined length of time. People are not going to forget that they went through the Covid pandemic of the early 2020’s, or that social media interfered with sufficient in person connectivity. And many individuals now permanently work exclusively from home. A startling statistic is that 12% of Americans feel that they do not have any close friends. 

Psychotherapy may be an important component of treatment, which could include group psychotherapy for people of similar ages, but even psychotherapy now often occurs “remotely” rather than in-person. In the case of younger students, it would be important for schools to provide supportive treatment opportunities such as in-person group psychotherapy to help their students.

It is not easy to quantify how much the pandemic has changed people’s lives, as most people have now returned to their previous pre-Covid normal lives. But social media socialization is expanding, not contracting, so for many people physical social isolation has become a norm rather than an exception. A formal psychiatric diagnosis, termed Social Anxiety Disorder, pre-dates the societal problems that the Pandemic and social media created, but it is similarly applicable now, having become more prevalent due to being activated by Covid and social media devices.

Treatment for symptoms such as loneliness could include anti-depressants or tranquilizers to moderate the feelings of depression and/or anxiety, but much of the treatment should probably involve individual or group psychotherapy to help one overcome their various social fears as well as provide guidance on how to avoid over reliance on social media devices.

The pandemic will eventually disappear, and people may then completely shed their masks, eat freely in restaurants, or go to the movies in a theater rather than watching on their own TV. But social media devices are expanding, thus reducing the quality and quantity of in-person social interactions. Consequently, a certain percentage of people may never fully return to more normal in person socialization as the American Loneliness Syndrome continues to march full speed ahead.

So what to do? Let’s discuss. In person!